Visualize some dominoes placed on their edges. The one closest is simply telling the truth. When toppled (when you’re less than truthful), it hits the next one which negatively impacts the trust you generate from others. When trust is knocked down it hits relationships which, when diminished, negatively impacts your personal and professional effectiveness.

This fluid, fast moving world we’ve created (yes, I know you might think you didn’t create it; but find and read the responsibility principle!) makes trust relationships more important than ever. The ultimate source of creating powerful relationships is authenticity. Can people trust you to tell the truth as you know it and in a way they can receive it?

You must tell yourself the truth first, only then can you be honest with others. I have many “areas for improvement” – yet I’ve learned that one of my strengths is an ever-growing ability to develop a “selfless regard for reality.” When you were four years old, you might have gained some temporary win by fudging the truth a bit – with yourself or others. Today, to be effective and create an extraordinary future we must learn to simply ...

Be Honest.

Of course, it doesn’t work to use honesty as a hammer. Feedback is much more powerful when it’s honest yet delivered with compassion. The great motivational speaker Bill Gove taught that when your beloved Aunt Sue shared with you that she had lost weight, you should not say “look behind you, it’s still following you.” 

You say, with loving intent “Aunt Sue, you look marvelous”…. because she does.

The goal is to develop trust in your ability and that of others – your family, your colleagues – to handle the truth. The effectiveness you create with your family, your work colleagues and your community is greatly enhanced when you express yourself honestly.

The action steps below will give you some work to do that I guarantee will further your goals and serve to deepen the quality and quantity of your relationships.

Read on!

Extraordinary Living Action Steps

Here are some suggestions for “homework” that have helped generate positive results for extraordinary people. Cut, paste and print the sentences below and then “do the work” of completing them for yourself.

1. Consider your experience of any relationship where you are less than open and honest. What are the prices you and the other party are paying as a consequence of your choices?

1. What could you do to begin a process of “coming clean,” letting that other person know that you’ve been withholding some communications that are important to both of you – now and into your future?

1. What are the risks and rewards of continuing to be less than fully honest?

1. What are the risks and rewards of choosing to be more open and honest?

1. What would be the best environment and the best communications approach to begin creating the kind of trust that builds extraordinary relationships?

1. When am I committed to doing it?  (Now works really well!)